SESUATU YANG TERTINGGAL

Helo! Gutten Abend!

This will be a long post i think. theres a lot to say here. i stop writing for months. i thought to be more series in this writing but my laptop suddenly passed away. arghhh! stress nok! betol-betol lepas belajar dia buat hal. i nak apply kerja pun merangkak sekarang. 2 month and half.. genap lah tittle mnganggur iols. this is not what i wished for. i wanted to work right after i officially graduated but yeah, mungkin masa itu tak sampai lagi kot. #husnudzon!

Well, camner nak start eh? aku nak meluahkan rasa actually. i had a lot to say in here as i cant say it right away to someone. phathetic right? feeling so lonely. HAHAHA. okay, the stories start from i had phone called made by one company to asked me if i interested to join them as a material assistant executive somewhere in Puchong. I was soooo happy! thats really a called made from heaven. but it turned out not as what i expecting to be. i cant go to the IV sessions because of i was at here in TRENGGANU. in shorts, there is no transport and the company needed me to go to the IV sessions as soon as i could. i tried to reach help from my nearest people around me but its all vain. my brothers cant help me, so did the other. 

I was frustrating at that time. i even cried  asking lord "why there is no one willing to help me?" . i had limited number of friends. they were always by my side before this time but during that period of time, they cant help me. okay frankly speaking ahh i tell you i am quite-quite-quite dissapointed. but its just only for one day. i repeat again aaa ONE DAY ONLY! the next day,i startled my self " what the hell i am thinking? " "i am too greedy asking them to give me all theirs attentions toward me." "this is seriesly not righ! Hafifah!" " Allah choose me because he know what i needed most. the kids still need me. He know the right time for me. so kenapa peningkan kepala dengan urusan Allah Hafifah? tepat masanya nanti.. dia akan izinkan. "

What happened really blew up my mind. i realized something. looking my self back then and i finally realized one thing for sure that is, nothing remains forever. nothing gonna stay with you forever. 

P/S: dont be mad. please read my explaination. without negatives vibes okay?

why did i said it so?

People will changes, not today but someday for sure.. no body will staying forever besides you. r they gonna have careers, families, and many more responsiblities and why would they give you all the priorities?. i didnt said they forgot you but, maybe they arent able be there for you like they did before. their attentions were changed .

That is why you must become brawny. I mean we, we need to become strong and yes independent.  less dependent. dont sticks with the same persons anymore. widen your circles so you will lessen your dependent issued towards someone. my main lessons is, i had a limited people in my life. i hardly gave others spaces to enter my life because i think i only need my dearly limited people.. so i will always sticks with my limited persons.but, the thing is, i need to give them spaces for their own life. they need freedom from me. and i should wake up from my dream. Worlds are challenging right now. look straight, strive your own goals. we are 25 years old and we need a lot of people to help us to be where we wanted to be. 

Hikmahnya di sini, i become more open and widen my circles. Insyaallah boleh berkongsi ilmu, bantuan and many more things that maybe i missed before this. habis aku chat dengan kawan-kawan lama balik. bertanya khabar and many more. i dont believe love fairy tales anymore. there is no such thing in this life. i am too busy waiting for someone who willing to  share my problems * i am problematic person actually*  then i realized, there is no such thing. kalau ada itu adalah bonus. but now, my focused is only for my own self,  my two brothers and many thing more. i left everything in God hands. 

Alhaamdulillah, thanks for every single persons in my life. my two brothers, family members, and my six best friends. Allah je mampu membalas segala kebaikan korang. Insyaallah, ada rezki lebih aku belanja.  now, sekarang i kena buat networking dengan orang-orang lain. Bismillah.

sincerely,

hafifahhazizi

S U N I S R I S I N G

berbekalkan musik mendayu-dayu dari folder lagu i kat laptop nie, tetiba i rasa nak menaip. meluap-luap rasanya.  gigih pulak tau.. 2 entry skali naik. haaaa hambekkk! ngeh ngeh

literally, i dah berusia 25 years ols. doesnt feel i ages at all. tapi bila tengok Safiyyah (anak sepupu) dah masuk darjah satu kalau dulu selalu main -main dengan dia pantang jumpa akumesti! mintak phone. sekarang dia dah pandai dan ada phone sendiri. tengok adik kawan member semua dah habis SPM. bila tanya adik kau sekarang buat ape? adik aku dah masuk degre, diploma, bla.. blaa.. pokoknya, i nak cakap yang semua dah habis sekolah. what? how time flies kan?

im getting older, day by day. tak yah bilang hari, setiap minit-minit yang bakal di tempuhi pun dah cukup nak menandakan yang daku makin tua. oh no! not only me, including you! HAHA

umor 25 tahun, some dah punya segala, career, aset , family and some still merangkak.. i was one of them masih merangkak. 

okay, aku nak jadi cheesy dikit tonight, tak malu betol tapi tak kisahlah/ jarang rasanya aku hupdate pasal hati nie die sebab dah serik. sakan punya tapi satu pun tak jadi! macam ape ntah! so, bialah di pendamkan perlahan-lahan. chiewah tapi bolehlah sekali sekala buat confession kat sini. nak confess di UIA confession malu plak itew. hak hak hak gedik lah mekpah!

i am single. takde istilah scandal, tak de eh.. orang cakap takpe aaa takde pakwe ko scandal ramai! oiii cantik sikit! lansung takdak okay. phone aku sunyi je kalau  takde orang whatsapp.. harapkan whatsapp group je lah. lau tak jangan harap lah weiiii!!.  aku pun taktau lah kenapa, im a true loner and loser. adalah tu kan silap mana-mana Allah takizinkan lagi. insyaallah lepas nie kalau jumpa terus kahwin. tak payah nak couple lelama ye tak? hehe

dear Mr Zauj,

i dont know where you are, who are you. everyone might tell u are the unluckiest person in this world for choosing me. i had infinities of imperfection. u had no idea about that. but, please bear with that. u never know how hard i wanted to change.. to behave like others. please know i am a person who hard to take care of others and mind them but once i do, i will do it my entire life. i love my brothers, i cant lose any of them anymore. so please  be nice with them. i missed my mom and dad, so i am hoping that ur parents will love me.

kalau awak cari seorang yang penuh kesempurnaan, yang cantik, pandai dari segala aspek, saya jauh bezanya. saya paling lemah untuk melakukan kerja rumah. i tried my best tho.. i tried my best to be worth by some one, one day. MOM surely proud with me now. i will promised to stay  with u , facing all bad circumtances together, just let you know i'm good enough with that after abah left me. it just, i dont mind anything as long, bila saya demam awak bawakkan ubat panadol untuk saya. bila saya sedih, awak dah tau macamana nak naikkan semangat saya balik. dah banyak kali bagitahu dekat kawan-kawan aku . HAHAHA.

takpelah en jodoh, manalah awak nie kan? takpe saya yakin awak akan datang.. by time passing Insyaallah. saya tunggu dan cuba jadi yang terbaik untuk awak. mungkin ini masanya saya berserah kepada pencipta. segala rezeki, jodoh, ilmu, kejayaan ditentukan oleh Allah. semoga terbukak hati kita pada waktunya. sekarang kita tengok kebahagiaan sahabat handai. Insyaallah. mungkin masa yang ada sekarang nie untuk perbaiki diri dulu. kan? 

last sekali, i love this song. semangat bila down. =)

"The Sun Is Rising"

When life has cut too deep and left you hurting
The future you had hoped for is now burning
And the dreams you held so tight lost their meaning
And you don't know if you'll ever find the healing

You're gonna make it
You're gonna make it
And the night can only last for so long

Whatever you're facing
If your heart is breaking
There's a promise for the ones who just hold on
Lift up your eyes and see
The sun is rising

The sun is rising

Every high and every low you're gonna go through
You don't have to be afraid I am with you
In the moments you're so weak you feel like stopping
Let the hope you have light the road you're walking

You're gonna make it
You're gonna make it
The night can only last for so long

Whatever you're facing
If your heart is breaking
There's a promise for the ones who just hold on
Lift up your eyes and see
The sun is rising

Even when you can't imagine how
How you're ever gonna find your way out
Even when you're drowning in your doubt
Just look beyond the clouds

Just look beyond the clouds

Whatever you're facing
If your heart is breaking
There's a promise for the ones who just hold on
Lift up your eyes and see
The sun is rising

The sun is rising

Even when you can't imagine how
How you're ever gonna find your way out
Even when you're drowning in your doubt
Just look beyond the clouds

p/s: please dont get me wrong. i'm not desprate macam yang duk viral-viral nak cari jodoh semua jadah tu. I rasa nak menulis saje. meluahkan . nak luah in person no body will know. this is my healing. so please do not misunderstand. 

with love,

nur hafifah hazizi

N e w y e a r w i t h n e w p h a s e !

It is finally 2017 and still in January so i guess i'm not that late to wish

  HAPPY NEW YEARRRRR!! yeah, now is 18th January kot.

Alhamdulillah, i has ended my degree life !!! basically not official yet. hopefully, everything turn out well for me. okay dah la.. malas nak speaking penat aih nk kena brain ayat, grammar semua semua. i had enough stress kot. setelah hampir 3 bulan lamanya di bumi Shah Alam, finally! aku boleh jugak balik rumah di kampung, tidur lama-lama macam dah tanak bangun. seriesly, aku nak bergerak pon malas wei. nak bergerak sekejap pn xmampu.. taktau kenapa jadi malas gila. mungkin, mungkin sebab dah hampir sebulan lebih aku dah habis kan masa berjaga, berpenat lelah , otak semua untuk siapkan thesis aku. so, bagilah dulu diri peluang nak rehat sekejap. kannnnnn~

so, after this what is next?

of course JOB HUNTINGGG!!! 

job hunting? senang ke nak dapat? alamak aihh seram siot. migrain kepala pikir masa depan. rasa nak menjerit. i dont know where and how to begin what so call 'Job Hunting'. last last aku bukak laptop aku layan stocks movie. i had plenty of them.! stress-stress nie lah aku. malas nak hadapi lagi. lagipun semua fail-fail akuada dengan my bro. lagi seminggu dia balik. so, aku akan mulakan job hunting aku seawal bulan 2 insyaallah.

so, aku buat ape sekarang? aku mengasuh adik aku kat rumah. masak, kemas rumah., as the way i want it to be.i  nak mantapkan saham, nak pandai masak..pandai lipat baju dan jugak sapu rumah. part nak lipat baju dan jugak sapu rumah tu aku palinggg malas nak buat. doa-doakanlah supaya badan aku tak naik membulat sementara di rumah nie. insyaallah.

p/s: semoga dimurahkan pintu rezeki hafifah hazizi, semoga dipermudahkan jalan baginya. ameen

with love,

nur hafifah bt hazizi