Helo! Gutten Abend!
This will be a long post i think. theres a lot to say here. i stop writing for months. i thought to be more series in this writing but my laptop suddenly passed away. arghhh! stress nok! betol-betol lepas belajar dia buat hal. i nak apply kerja pun merangkak sekarang. 2 month and half.. genap lah tittle mnganggur iols. this is not what i wished for. i wanted to work right after i officially graduated but yeah, mungkin masa itu tak sampai lagi kot. #husnudzon!
Well, camner nak start eh? aku nak meluahkan rasa actually. i had a lot to say in here as i cant say it right away to someone. phathetic right? feeling so lonely. HAHAHA. okay, the stories start from i had phone called made by one company to asked me if i interested to join them as a material assistant executive somewhere in Puchong. I was soooo happy! thats really a called made from heaven. but it turned out not as what i expecting to be. i cant go to the IV sessions because of i was at here in TRENGGANU. in shorts, there is no transport and the company needed me to go to the IV sessions as soon as i could. i tried to reach help from my nearest people around me but its all vain. my brothers cant help me, so did the other.
I was frustrating at that time. i even cried asking lord "why there is no one willing to help me?" . i had limited number of friends. they were always by my side before this time but during that period of time, they cant help me. okay frankly speaking ahh i tell you i am quite-quite-quite dissapointed. but its just only for one day. i repeat again aaa ONE DAY ONLY! the next day,i startled my self " what the hell i am thinking? " "i am too greedy asking them to give me all theirs attentions toward me." "this is seriesly not righ! Hafifah!" " Allah choose me because he know what i needed most. the kids still need me. He know the right time for me. so kenapa peningkan kepala dengan urusan Allah Hafifah? tepat masanya nanti.. dia akan izinkan. "
What happened really blew up my mind. i realized something. looking my self back then and i finally realized one thing for sure that is, nothing remains forever. nothing gonna stay with you forever.
P/S: dont be mad. please read my explaination. without negatives vibes okay?
why did i said it so?
People will changes, not today but someday for sure.. no body will staying forever besides you. r they gonna have careers, families, and many more responsiblities and why would they give you all the priorities?. i didnt said they forgot you but, maybe they arent able be there for you like they did before. their attentions were changed .
That is why you must become brawny. I mean we, we need to become strong and yes independent. less dependent. dont sticks with the same persons anymore. widen your circles so you will lessen your dependent issued towards someone. my main lessons is, i had a limited people in my life. i hardly gave others spaces to enter my life because i think i only need my dearly limited people.. so i will always sticks with my limited persons.but, the thing is, i need to give them spaces for their own life. they need freedom from me. and i should wake up from my dream. Worlds are challenging right now. look straight, strive your own goals. we are 25 years old and we need a lot of people to help us to be where we wanted to be.
Hikmahnya di sini, i become more open and widen my circles. Insyaallah boleh berkongsi ilmu, bantuan and many more things that maybe i missed before this. habis aku chat dengan kawan-kawan lama balik. bertanya khabar and many more. i dont believe love fairy tales anymore. there is no such thing in this life. i am too busy waiting for someone who willing to share my problems * i am problematic person actually* then i realized, there is no such thing. kalau ada itu adalah bonus. but now, my focused is only for my own self, my two brothers and many thing more. i left everything in God hands.
Alhaamdulillah, thanks for every single persons in my life. my two brothers, family members, and my six best friends. Allah je mampu membalas segala kebaikan korang. Insyaallah, ada rezki lebih aku belanja. now, sekarang i kena buat networking dengan orang-orang lain. Bismillah.
sincerely,
hafifahhazizi
